Well I guess I’m not that old, but I feel old. Haven’t been writing here much because I just haven’t had the energy. Been spending most of my time on Twitter (@kaijubushi) making pithy comments and bemoaning the state of the world. Basically wasting my time.
I usually don’t have a lot to do at work. This might sound like a good deal (I get paid a decent wage), but it sucks. A lot. I find myself more drained after doing nothing all day than one in which I am slammed with work. Idle hands lead to thinking, and thinking has led to the realization that everything I do at work could be handled by my co-workers and I offer nothing of real value.
The concept of “Meaningful Work” was something we discussed in my Catholic Ethics and Justice classes, but I never real knew why it was important until now. To feel that your work serves no purpose is detrimental to the soul and thus all other aspects of one’s life. I find myself often angry or apathetic when I leave work, something that carries over to the little time I spend with my family. The kids are being raised by people I don’t know at daycare centers, and my oldest daughter cries every day when I drop her off. The baby doesn’t know any better as she has been going since she was 4 months old. I don’t know which is worse.
Maybe I should stay home and take care of the kids? I can think of no more meaningful (and difficult) work than this. Unfortunately my wife and her culture are not amenable to the man staying home and not working. We are also trapped in habits of spending and debt that tethers me to a job with no meaning. My wife is in the medical field, her job and work has worth. I sit on Twitter and look at used guitars while doing the odd IT ticket here and there.
Something needs to change.