Vikings are dicks: Mount and Blade edition


Despite a highly alarming backlog of AAA and highly acclaimed indie games, like the Witcher 3, Fallout 4, XCom 2, Darkest Dungeon, Undertale, etc, I continue to whittle away a majority of my free gaming time with Heroes of the Storm. Fail.

I recently felt a certain hard-to-describe yen for army building, and the mindless, merciless, mounted slaying of enemies. This longing in my soul could only be sated by a return to Mount and Blade: Warband, and so it has been done.

I wrote once about my experience getting into M&B:W. Ultimately in that playthrough I established myself a nice little kingdom, but “little” was the operating word. This time, now that I know the ropes, I have plans for something grander.

Today, though, I wanted to highlight the fact that this game has vikings. And true to form, they’re dicks. First off, let me clarify something by laying out that there are six factions in the game world of Calradia:

– The Khergit Khanate, which is comprised of Mongol-like horsemen

– The Kingdom of Rhodoks, which are akin to Europeans of some kind

– The Kingdom of Swadia, which are also European-like dudes

– The Kingdom of Vaegirs, which are…Eastern European?

– The Sarranid Sultante, who are basically the Saracens (and thusly I make war on them, though I may befriend individual lords)

– The Kingdom of Nords, who are…Nords

The Nords as a faction aren’t so bad. They’ve got some of the best infantry in the game, so I’m making a point to recruit more Nord peons this time around to train them into Huscarls. These guys are not only super nasty in a melee, but they chuck axes, too. These aren’t the dicks of whom I speak, though.


There are other Northmen. Northier Northmen. Of all the bandits in Caladria, the northern sea raiders are among the toughest (and also offer some of the best loot). They also offer some of the best dialogue when engaged. Here’s a clip of the possible stuff they can say:

Not only do these arseholes want to claim your head and make it into a sippy cup, but like all the other bandit factions, they can’t be permanently eliminated. Just like the real vikings, they keep on showing up in their tubs to harass and plunder and be a general pain in the ass. Another good reason to pick on the Arab Kingdom in the south – it’s far away from these guys and their aggressive raiding ways.




4 thoughts on “Vikings are dicks: Mount and Blade edition

  1. Rhodok Crossbowmen plus Nord Huscarls = domination. If you can get on a battle with some slight elevation for the crossbows, I don’t think a Swardian Knight charge (best mounted units, in my opinion) can break a line of Nord Huscarls.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!

      In my first playthrough I noticed that Swadian Knights and those Saracen Marmalukes were super badass troops. The Arabs also have good archers. It wasn’t until this second time around that I really started to appreciate the potential of the crossbowmen (Rhodok) and infantry (Nord). It’s kind of unfortunate that the other two factions don’t really have any units that shine.


  2. Xcom2?

    Did they reboot/re-release the franchise? I played the original and the sequel “Terror from the Deep” but the 3rd one was a mix of real time and turn base and it didn’t work for me. I didn’t realize they kept on making them all over again.


  3. Yup, they remade it a few years back and just recently did a sequel to the remake. The first one anyway was pretty solid. Not as complex as the original, more streamlined. Kind of have to think of them as their own separate things.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s