Despite a highly alarming backlog of AAA and highly acclaimed indie games, like the Witcher 3, Fallout 4, XCom 2, Darkest Dungeon, Undertale, etc, I continue to whittle away a majority of my free gaming time with Heroes of the Storm. Fail.
I recently felt a certain hard-to-describe yen for army building, and the mindless, merciless, mounted slaying of enemies. This longing in my soul could only be sated by a return to Mount and Blade: Warband, and so it has been done.
I wrote once about my experience getting into M&B:W. Ultimately in that playthrough I established myself a nice little kingdom, but “little” was the operating word. This time, now that I know the ropes, I have plans for something grander.
Today, though, I wanted to highlight the fact that this game has vikings. And true to form, they’re dicks. First off, let me clarify something by laying out that there are six factions in the game world of Calradia:
– The Khergit Khanate, which is comprised of Mongol-like horsemen
– The Kingdom of Rhodoks, which are akin to Europeans of some kind
– The Kingdom of Swadia, which are also European-like dudes
– The Kingdom of Vaegirs, which are…Eastern European?
– The Sarranid Sultante, who are basically the Saracens (and thusly I make war on them, though I may befriend individual lords)
– The Kingdom of Nords, who are…Nords
The Nords as a faction aren’t so bad. They’ve got some of the best infantry in the game, so I’m making a point to recruit more Nord peons this time around to train them into Huscarls. These guys are not only super nasty in a melee, but they chuck axes, too. These aren’t the dicks of whom I speak, though.
There are other Northmen. Northier Northmen. Of all the bandits in Caladria, the northern sea raiders are among the toughest (and also offer some of the best loot). They also offer some of the best dialogue when engaged. Here’s a clip of the possible stuff they can say:
Not only do these arseholes want to claim your head and make it into a sippy cup, but like all the other bandit factions, they can’t be permanently eliminated. Just like the real vikings, they keep on showing up in their tubs to harass and plunder and be a general pain in the ass. Another good reason to pick on the Arab Kingdom in the south – it’s far away from these guys and their aggressive raiding ways.